Commandy v1 (compatibility: 2014.01.01)

[Nikeron]

yes, and what?
you are from USA or not?

[xoft]

Gentlemen, there's no need for the bad atmosphere. Cheese, you're a Dummy; Nikeron, прости ему.

As a matter of fact, I do know a good joke from the Soviet era:
Three tourists arrive to a hotel and want accommodation, but the hotel is almost full, they only have one empty room left. The tourists agree to sharing the room, what other choice they have. So they go to sleep; two of the tourists talk about some Things Against The State, and how they listen to Radio Free Europe and such. The third one hushes them, "don't you know walls have ears, too?". But they don't stop, so he leaves the room to grab a drink from the lobby, he then asks the room service to bring him three drinks to his room in exactly five minutes and goes back. The other two are still talking the Forbidden Stuff, so he theatrically speaks up, as if to an invisible microphone: "Comrade Major, would you send us three rums, please?" A moment later the door opens and the room service brings the drinks. The two talkers finally shut up and they go to sleep. The next day the tourist is alone in the room. He walks to the hotel reception to ask about the other two, only to learn that the secret police took them. "And what about me, why didn't they take me?" "Comrade Major really liked your drinks idea".

God, this is sooo difficult to translate, it's not funny anymore. Even more so because it used to be true.

[tigerw]

I do apologise profusely for my bad humour, Nikeron, no offense intended.

Gosh no, I'm not American...

[Nikeron]

Yes, Sover Russia army was with humor...

[SamJBarney]

Gentlemen, there's no need for the bad atmosphere. Cheese, you're a Dummy; Nikeron, прости ему.

As a matter of fact, I do know a good joke from the Soviet era:
Three tourists arrive to a hotel and want accommodation, but the hotel is almost full, they only have one empty room left. The tourists agree to sharing the room, what other choice they have. So they go to sleep; two of the tourists talk about some Things Against The State, and how they listen to Radio Free Europe and such. The third one hushes them, "don't you know walls have ears, too?". But they don't stop, so he leaves the room to grab a drink from the lobby, he then asks the room service to bring him three drinks to his room in exactly five minutes and goes back. The other two are still talking the Forbidden Stuff, so he theatrically speaks up, as if to an invisible microphone: "Comrade Major, would you send us three rums, please?" A moment later the door opens and the room service brings the drinks. The two talkers finally shut up and they go to sleep. The next day the tourist is alone in the room. He walks to the hotel reception to ask about the other two, only to learn that the secret police took them. "And what about me, why didn't they take me?" "Comrade Major really liked your drinks idea".

God, this is sooo difficult to translate, it's not funny anymore. Even more so because it used to be true.

I thought it was funny